Just Call Me a Quaintrelle: Female Dandy for short

Coco Channel

 

I would say I am a “Female Dandy”

In this article An Ode to That Rare Creature, the Female Dandy

http://nymag.com/thecut/2015/03/ode-to-that-rare-creature-the-female-dandy.html

the women exude a quality, a class, a style a way of living that is lived through passion, savoring of life,

the female dandy is its own archetype, known as the quaintrelle

The term comes from the wordquaint — a much more elegant coinage than its precursors, dandyessand dandizette.

As one online dictionary has it, a quaintrelle [Dandy] is

“a woman who emphasizes a life of passion expressed through personal style, leisurely pastimes, charm, and cultivation of life’s pleasures,”

and as the article states after quoting, shouldn’t that be all of us?

A further description later in the article gives another viewpoint..

“Her hands are gloved, she is helmeted, and inaccessible; a cold and disturbing beauty [through which] pierces a formidable being — this woman is free!”

Tamara De Lempicka

 

While most of this is true, I do not feel that all “Dandy” women are cold and inaccessible. However, I do feel as this statement says, the women like this do tend to have that “Je ne se quoi” 

An intangible quality that makes something distinctive or attractive

I think I attain some of that, however being in The Des Moines Women’s Club reminds me every Wednesday that I still have something to strive for an attain. There are so many women in the club that have this, finesse, about them. The carry themselves with such eloquence and I admire them so just I used to admire ladies from my church in years past. There was one lady Sister Kiester that had this formidable quality about her. She hosted fine dinners, her clothes were always impeccable, and her was perfectly coiffed. She was something to aspire to.

I recently have thought more about my wardrobe choices, style, demeanor and manner in which I present myself and wonder if others look at me that way or if they just see me as some silly girl playing dress up? Then there are shows like Advanced Style  who have this style and grace about them. 

I get shown this movie over and over. People always send it to me or tell me I remind them of these ladies. I am 45 this year and have my own style and am told I fit the description of  “people who live full creative lives. They live life to the fullest, age gracefully and continue to grow and challenge themselves.” As well, I believe Ari should check out The Des Moines Women’s Club with all the impeccable women who have that same sir and quality about them! I feel that style is relative and I desire to dress as I choose and have my own flair for dress as well as life.

I think Dietrich best described it summing up the allure of the quaintrelle:

Her attire isn’t meant to please others, only herself.

If you know me, you know one of my mantra’s is to always Be Yourself. Live your life for yourself. Do as you desire and happiness will follow. Wear what you desire to wear no matter how ostentatious it may be. If YOU love it, FEEL great in it, then that is all that matters.

I leave with you my Mantra

“When given the option of being fabulous, why would you choose anything else?”

Xoxo, Trisha Trixie

Be Fabulous Perfume Ad

Recipe for Fabulous : Be Beautiful, Inside and Out

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There   are many attractive   people out there,  but that doesn’t make them beautiful. I hear so many people say  they know someone who is gorgeous  on the outside but ugly on the inside.  To be truly fabulous ,  you must be both. Beautiful on the inside and out!

How do you do that?

Be Yourself. You do that by being yourself , for one. I like a quote I saw that said “Be yourself, everybody else is taken.” How true it is. Don’t worry about what others are saying or doing or wearing or being, don’t try to be them, just be you.

Love yourself. Fall in love with yourself. Every imperfection, every flaw, ever great thing and every mediocre thing. Realize you are not perfect and then accept those imperfections. Every thing that you are is WHO you are.  Be that person. down to the core.

Embrace your past. “You have to put your past behind you.” Isn’t that what the monkey said in Lion King? Whatever happened when you were younger, whatever someone said to you, or did to you, or treated you in the past, is just that…in the past. I don’t think we can truly “forget” it but see it for what it is…your character. All those things have made you who you are today. Embrace them. Welcome them into your heart. Those things in your past helped shape, you form you, build your character. I love my past. For every good, great and awful thing that happened.

Dig Deep. Dig deep down into your soul. Who are you? Are you a bitch? Are you an asshole? Are you sweet? Are you too trusting? ?Do you like who you are? Do you want to change who you are? When you dig deep, way down to the core, it can be very hard. I have done it and I had to take a good hard look at myself and  decide if I liked that person or not. The areas I didn’t like I then had to decide if I cared and if I wanted to change them or not. I truly believe when things are miserable enough, awful enough and you don’t like them enough, that’s when you change and grow. But just like an illness of alcoholism or other drugs, you have to see the problem and accept it before you can change and grow. You think comparing yourself to a drug is odd? Well, think about this…if you are allowing yourself to be toxic to yourself, it is a drug. If you are allowing others to be toxic to you, it is a drug. How so? Well, toxicity IS a DRUG. Some people FEED off it. They feed off the drama. They feed off the attention. They are addicted to their story. They are addicted to being a “victim” so much so, that they can’t see past it. They wonder “Why is my life always have problems?” or “Why does drama always happen to me or around me?” yet failing to see how they are thriving on it like they would a drug. You have to recognize it, then tackle the problem. Once you do then you can conquer those things and issues that are holding you back from becoming the best you that you can be. Digging deep and seeing yourself for who you REALLY are is hard. I won’t lie. It can really hurt your heart when you see how you have been acting or treating others or what toxicness you have allowed in your soul. But do not dwell on that. See it for what it is and then be determined to change it.

Set, Make, and Keep Boundaries. I have talked about this before. The very best thing you can do for yourself is to Set, Make and Keep boundaries for yourself. Set them by writing them down on a piece of paper or online. Make them by taking action on them. Keep them by not allowing other over the line of those boundaries. Past boyfriends, ex husbands or wives, family members or those really close to you are the hardest to keep those boundaries with. We think we need to allow them to keep treating us like dirt and you know what…YOU DON’T! Never allow anyone to diminish your shine!  Hold to your boundaries. Do not be like Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Same and keep saying “Do not cross this line” then let them cross the line and make a new line. Make your line, be firm, stick to it. At first it will suck. It will hurt. It will be hard. I am not gonna lie. But after a few more times and then those toxic people either leave because you’re not fun to play with anymore because they can’t hurt you because you won’t let them….or you see those people for who they REALLY are and you finally let go of them and their issues and drama. When you do, a huge weight will life and you will stand there in an air like a feather or happiness and you will say to yourself “Why did I let that go on for so long. I am SO much happier now” Just because to not swell on the fact that you let it go on. Do not beat yourself up about it. Embrace it, and when another comes around, hold to your boundary once again. It is the best way to love yourself and be true to yourself that will make your soul shine and your inner beauty really start shining through.

Be Determined. Be determined to be better. Be the best. Be Fabulous. The new road to getting past all that can take time. It can take some real hard soul searching. It can hurt to see what you have allowed in your life from others and possibly yourself. But there are ways to get through it. I did by taking Soul Restoration I and II from Brave Girls Club.. I am going to start next year in Soul School and reconnect with my own soul. SR really helped me reach deep and see the pain, hurt and heartache I was carrying around with me. Once I got past it and really opened up my soul to all the great things, I felt like a weight had been lifted from me and I was no longer carrying bricks of defeat around anymore. I took some other courses at the same time to help my business and reach for my dreams such as When I grow Up, Right Brain Business Plan and Amazing Biz Life Academy which also made a VAST difference in me reaching and going for my dreams! Last year I took Susan B Moe’s Business in Blue Jeans webinar and it changed my life not to mention joining the best inspiration of my life Miss Stephanie St. Claire and her 7 Miracles along with Blissbomed which got me out of a victim mindset and into healing, success and life changes I never thought I could have!

Be Mindful. How do you be mindful? Well, most of all keep learning. You don’t have to be an eternal student racking up debt to be mindful either. With the internet at the tips of our fingers, there is SO much to be able to take part of free, and at some cost. Craftsy, You Tube, Udacity, and even just searching on Google will help you find what you need to learn, to grow, to read books, watch videos, etc. There is no reason why you aren’t learning what you need to know or desire to know. If you don’t have a computer, go to the library. You can use the computers there, or go to a resource center in your area as many of them have computers you can use for free as well. Ask a family member or a friend to let you use one or look online Craigslist or Ebay or such and find a used laptop or desktop and get what you need. Plus each area has some form of Community Classes or Adult Education that you take part in for free or minimal costs to learn and grow your mind. To have a beautiful mind you have to exercise it, challenge it, grow it and what I like to say ABL, Always Be Learning.

Take Care of You. On the outward appearance side of things your tasks are geared toward taking care of yourself. I don’t believe you have to be a certain weight or certain height or wear a certain set of clothes, etc to be Beautiful. I think it goes back to getting down to the core of things. Take care of yourself, eat right, get enough sleep, exercise to help your body be healthy as well as it does have some fit factors, take care of your teeth, your hair, your body and your clothes. If all those things are in good shape, then you are set. If not, take a personal assessment and make changes where you need to or want to. Not sure where to start? Think about a life coach or even search online for Personal Assessment or Health Assessment or something in that realm. If you want to change your clothes search for Updating my Wardrobe ideas. If you want to update your Hairstyle, look for those ideas. Again, there are SO many resources you can lean on. Even the most kempt together person needs a little improvement here or there. I recently did a health assessment and realized if I worked out more I would FEEL healthier and have more energy. I looked at my hairdo and decided I wanted something different so I searched for Redhead bangs and found some cute style so I can start the new year with a bang, with BETTIE BANGS! 🙂 I also am not afraid to ask. Ask others for hand me downs, ideas, or help. Get an Accountability Partner for you, your goals or even your business. Someone who has the same mindset as you and wants to have an Accountability Partner too will help you both. Meet once a week online, over the phone or in person if you can and hash over your goals and where you are each week. It will really make a difference.

Full Circle Fabulous. Bringing it all together. I am sure I could go on and there are other deeper things to add, but I think the essence is here. If you follow these things are start on your path, take some initiative to make the necessary changes in your life and to make your life better, then you will be on the road to your heart and mind to help yourself to be a complete package.

Until next time,

Xoxo Trisha Trixie

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Me and my new do!